How to Grow (and Raise) an Alien...or Two

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not calling babies aliens. The whole conception, pregnancy and birth process things are all very miraculous, but I can't get over the idea of there being something alive in my body (aside from the typical bacteria, tapeworms and other organisms that everyone has...). One day an egg gives a sperm a flirty little look and next thing you know he's all over her. Together they turn into a little group of cells that makes a second pink line show up on a pregnancy test. Then the insanity starts. The thing takes over my entire body. My boobs start to hurt, I'm exhausted, I'm nauseated, I'm emotional (which really is no different than any other time, but it's a bit more pronounced), I'm hungry, I'm exhausted, I'm starving, I'm exhausted... The group of cells starts to grow into a bigger group of cells. Without warning...a burp and then a fart. Wow...when did I get so gassy? The little group of cells is busy arranging all of it's DNA, deciding what sex it's going to be, what it will look like and what college it will go to. After a few weeks, while it still looks like a little blob, a heart starts beating. Within my body, there are two hearts beating. This thing will make my belly grow to an enormous size and when born, will leave behind stretch marks and flabby skin that will never go back into place. After being born, it will be able to support it's own life with it's own heart and own little organs that it grew all on its own inside my body. But before it's born, I will be supporting it...I will be its life source. Before it's born, it's kind of like a parasite...kind of like an alien.

My history:

July 7, 2000: I found out that I was pregnant. Wow - we weren't even trying.

August 8, 2000: I had a miscarriage. Thought about all the things that I did to cause it: painted rooms in my new house, carried furniture and heavy boxes when we moved, sat in hot tubs (I still don't understand not being able to do this...pregnant women NEED hot tubs), walked around too much in insane heat in New Orleans. So many people miscarry, though, so I had to convince myself to stop thinking this way. Every once in a while, my mind still goes there, but since I'm borderline ADD, it doesn't stay there for long.

December 24, 2000: Positive pregnancy test. Talk about being paranoid and obsessive. I was so worried that something was going to happen and I wouldn't get this baby, either. I was so odd that I welcomed morning sickness! Yikes!

August 21, 2001: After about 18 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, Ainsley Brynn was born at 3:14pm. She was 2 weeks early and weighed in at 8 pounds 7 ounces. She was beautiful and perfect, and perfect and beautiful. She still is. It's like someone took out my heart and it's walking around outside of me.

January 20, 2004: A faint pink line on the pregnancy test...could it be?

January 22, 2004: Yes, it could be. I'm growing an alien.