How to Grow (and Raise) an Alien...or Two

I always said that I wanted 3 or 4 kids. I've now decided that 2 is plenty.

Last Sunday, I started spotting. Not a lot, but enough to make a paranoid pregnant woman freak out. I went to the emergency room and the doctor did an ultrasound with a portable machine. Why bother. All she could tell me is that my uterus is enlarged which pretty much ruled out an ectopic pregnancy, which she informed me could be potentially life-threatening. I told her that it was all very interesting, but what about the baby? Is the baby okay? She said that she couldn't even see a baby, but she's not very good at doing ultrasounds. What a crock. She said to follow up with my doctor the next day and they could do a better ultrasound. When I called the next morning, they told me to come in at 10:00 and they could do an ultrasound for me at 3:00. An all-day adventure. Goody. The ultrasound confirmed to the day how far along I thought I was. And sure enough, there was a heartbeat. Completely and totally amazing.

Then the severe morning sickness hit. I'm talking knock-you-out-you're-not-getting-out-of-bed-except-to-puke morning sickness. I ended up in the emergency room again on Friday because I was severely dehydrated. Who wouldn't be? Any time I even thought about drinking or eating something, I threw up. The smell of the soap my husband uses on his hands makes me wanna hurl. We have a new mouse pad and right now, as I sit typing, the smell of it makes me want to pass out.

I actually asked my sister to be a surrogate for me, but I guss it's a little late for that.

Two kids are nice. It's a nice balance. I see no need to go through this torture again.