How to Grow (and Raise) an Alien...or Two

I'm still pregnant. Ugh. I went into the hospital about a week and a half ago because I was having contractions. They told me that I was 2cm dilated and then promptly gave me a shot to stop the contractions. That was the end of week 34. They said that if it was the end of week 35, they wouldn't have done anything to stop it. I'm starting to wish now that I hadn't said anything and just stayed home. I could have the baby at home...

I'm fat, tired and I have a tough time doing just about anything. I really do feel like this baby is never going to come. I don't sleep at night and then I nap during the day, which I'm sure keeps me from sleeping at night...

I'm either going to sit down and cry now or go jump on the neighbor's trampoline.

On Sunday night the phone rang at almost midnight. Since everyone who knows us knows that we'd be in bed by then and that we have a two-year-old who would also be in bed, I automatically shot out of bed thinking it was an emergency. On my way to get the phone in my sleepy, seemingly drunken state, I slipped and fell down 6 steps. I say 6 steps because that would be the maximum since there are only 6 on that flight of stairs. Could have been less, but it didn't feel like it. I didn't tumble, but instead just tumbled and grasped for the rail. I didn't hit my belly and since I didn't have any bleeding, my water didn't break, and the baby was moving around alot as she usually does at this time of night, I wasn't really concerned. Somehow, though, I managed to cut my finger. I went back to bed and when I woke up in the morning, the condition that I have where walking is becoming increasingly difficult (symphesis separation) had been aggrivated and I couldn't walk at all. The condition is caused by pregnancy hormones softening the pelvic bone so the baby can fit through during labor. With my luck, the hormones kicked in early and it feels like, with any step, my legs may just fall off. Well the fall made it even worse. I called my doctor's office and they told me to go straight to the hospital emergency room because they wanted to monitor the baby. Now, I know this may sound strange being the paranoid pregnant woman that I am, but I wasn't concerned about the baby at all. I read books. I know that with all the amniotic fluid in there that she probably didn't even feel the fall. And as long as the fluid stayed in there, there wasn't really a problem. It took them about 4 hours to tell me that she was perfectly fine swimming around in there. As far as my real problem...I still couldn't walk. I seriously considered getting a walker. All the doctor could tell me on that one is to take some tylenol. Um, okay. That helps with the pain, but what about this not-being-able-to-walk thing? I was holding onto walls and shuffling like a little, old man who is eight months pregnant. Get a pregnancy belt, she told me. Well at least the store that we went to had carts that I could use for support. My husband wanted me to use one of the store wheelchairs. I considered it for a moment, but realized that I couldn't take it with me, so why bother? I haven't been to work all week. I'm walking better with the pregnancy belt (a.k.a. belly bra), but I'm afraid that halfway through the day, I won't be able to move anymore and I'll be stranded. Work is the last place on earth I would want to be stranded. I've also contracted a nice cough that's given me a pretty decent sore throat. The sore throat in conjunction with the pain from the symphesis separation keeps me from sleeping well, so by the time the alarm goes off in the morning, I may have gotten a total of an hour's sleep. Driving and working under these conditions just seems impossible to me.

Yesterday afternoon, I had a sudden feeling of panic that I may never give birth to this baby. I feel like I've been pregant for forever and I just may stay this way. I cried pretty hard for about 10 minutes. Is this what they talk about when they discuss pregnancy hormones? I know that my fear is unfounded, but I just couldn't help it. I think I may just be going insane. It's a little scary thinking that the post-partum depression is setting in before I ever even have the baby.

And the phone call was not an emergency.