How to Grow (and Raise) an Alien...or Two

I will begin this post stating that I just bought Ainsley a sweet little pair of not-exactly-cheap blue leather loafers. Since she is currently in a size 8, I bought them in a 9 so she can grow into them. When I brought them home, she fell in love with them and asked if she could wear them around the house. I saw no problem with this and was actually happy that she liked them so much.

Yesterday morning started way too early. Around 12:15am, Ainsley woke up crying for me. I went into her room and she sleepily told me that she peed the bed. She had never done this before even though we're only a few weeks into true potty training. She's stayed dry at night for months. I wasn't too worried, though, because I knew she wasn't feeling too well. She had been talking in her sleep since I tucked her in around 10:00. I stripped the bed and changed her pajamas. I gave her some Tylenol because she had an obvious fever and I went back to bed. She continued having a restless night and kept talking in her sleep. To comfort her, I went in her room and laid in her bed with her. She fell right asleep, but I did not. When my husband left for work, I realized that I hadn't slept at all, but that's okay. That's what mommies do when their kids are sick.

Now, I was prepared for a good poopy diaper from Arden as she hadn't pooped in two days. This has happened before and I knew what to expect. I had Arden in her rocking chair in the kitchen. I left the kitchen for a minute, came back and smelled it right away. As I picked her up, Ainsley informed me that she had to pee. Ainsley is doing a great job peeing on the potty (we're still working on pooping on the potty...poop seems to come on a little quicker for her and she doesn't always have time to make it to the potty). I told Ainsley to go ahead and go to the potty and I would change Arden. I took Arden in her room and laid her in her crib (never got a changing table...never felt the need). As I quickly pulled Arden's pajama pants off, the poop that had leaked out of the sides of her diaper smeared down her legs and actually managed to work it's way in between her toes. I did not panic. I actually laughed to myself thinking of what my husband would have done in this situation. As I started methodically wiping off my youngest daughter, my firstborn started crying rather hysterically from the bathroom. I got Arden to a point where she couldn't make the mess any worse and I went to check on Ainsley. There she stood, in the middle of the bathroom, with her panties around her ankles, in a puddle of pee. This has happened before. Ainsley gets sidetracked, not realizing how badly she really needs to go and she doesn't quite make it onto the toilet. This hasn't upset me in the past...it's easy enough to clean up...at least it was in the bathroom and not on the new carpet. However, this time, Ainsley had been wearing her new shoes. I had to have her slip her feet out of her shoes so I could pour the pee into the toilet. How do you clean pee of off brand new leather shoes that have basically been soaked in it? I put Ainsley in the tub, cleaned the floor, wiped the shoes off with Clorox wipes (as least they're germ-free now) and I put them in the garage where they still sit. I don't know what to do with them.

On a normal day, this ploethera of bodily function madness would put some people over the edge, but try dealing with it on no sleep. I'm sure I'll laugh about it one day. That day has not yet come.