How to Grow (and Raise) an Alien...or Two

So I haven't been to work for about 3 weeks. As much as I don't like my job, I really would rather be there than doing what I'm doing. Morning sickness is a total misnomer. I throw up at all times of the day and it doesn't get better. It's impossible to even function. The doctors have informed me that I have what is called "hyperemesis gravidarum" which in normal person terms is really really bad morning sickness. The kind that puts you in the hospital and requires that you get IV fluids. Fabulous. Needless to say, I don't get out of bed much (except to run to the bathroom to hurl). I weigh less now than I did when I first got pregnant. I worry about the baby since it really can't be getting much nourishment from me and my doctors told me to stop taking my vitamins. I hope I can make up for all of this if this latin condition ever goes away.

My next doctor's appointment is Monday...maybe they'll have a miracle cure.

I always said that I wanted 3 or 4 kids. I've now decided that 2 is plenty.

Last Sunday, I started spotting. Not a lot, but enough to make a paranoid pregnant woman freak out. I went to the emergency room and the doctor did an ultrasound with a portable machine. Why bother. All she could tell me is that my uterus is enlarged which pretty much ruled out an ectopic pregnancy, which she informed me could be potentially life-threatening. I told her that it was all very interesting, but what about the baby? Is the baby okay? She said that she couldn't even see a baby, but she's not very good at doing ultrasounds. What a crock. She said to follow up with my doctor the next day and they could do a better ultrasound. When I called the next morning, they told me to come in at 10:00 and they could do an ultrasound for me at 3:00. An all-day adventure. Goody. The ultrasound confirmed to the day how far along I thought I was. And sure enough, there was a heartbeat. Completely and totally amazing.

Then the severe morning sickness hit. I'm talking knock-you-out-you're-not-getting-out-of-bed-except-to-puke morning sickness. I ended up in the emergency room again on Friday because I was severely dehydrated. Who wouldn't be? Any time I even thought about drinking or eating something, I threw up. The smell of the soap my husband uses on his hands makes me wanna hurl. We have a new mouse pad and right now, as I sit typing, the smell of it makes me want to pass out.

I actually asked my sister to be a surrogate for me, but I guss it's a little late for that.

Two kids are nice. It's a nice balance. I see no need to go through this torture again.

Even to those who don't enjoy the taste of coffee, the smell of a fresh pot brewing is sublime.

This morning I smelled it and promptly threw up.

I'm trying to figure out exactly what it is within a woman that makes her obsess about her pregnancy. I was lurking around the bulletin boards on my favorite baby website and women are nuts. I can say this, because I am one of them.

Some of them have had positive pregnancy tests and yet are doubting that they are pregnant.
I have 6 positive tests at home. I keep them around so I can look at them...just to remind myself that it's true.

There are women that have miscarried before and are convinced that it's going to happen again.
Been there. I think I enjoyed my last pregnancy for a total of 15 minutes. The rest of the time was spent worrying that the baby wouldn't make it or would be born with two heads (which, by the way, would support my alien theory...). Sidenote: The baby did, in fact, make it and her one head is just beautiful. So far during this pregnancy, I have thought about miscarrying, but the slight case of ADD that I have comes in handy here.

Some women have gained weight quickly and are afraid that they're carrying twins. Please. You're pregnant. You're supposed to gain weight. What about the millions of people that are gaining weight and aren't even pregnant??? They can't even blame the weight gain on one baby.

Thing is, I haven't even hit the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot more crazy where this stuff came from.

What makes women do this? Is it a "mother bear" syndrome that makes us totally protective of our young even before they're born? Is it an overwhelming sense of responsibility and that we just don't want to fail? Do we not have enough faith that everything has a purpose and that we really aren't in control of everything/anything? Or are we all just eternal pessimists?

I'm gonna go take another pregnancy test.

Hello Little Tadpole,

Up to this point, I've been feeling pretty good. I've gotten a little nauseated and tired in the afternoons, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. Then I woke up this morning. Ugh. I got out of bed to wake up your big sister and it hit. I have morning sickness. To be honest, it makes me feel better having it. It's normal...it means that something is going on in there.

Everyone is already asking me if I want a boy or a girl. The first time I was pregnant, I really wanted a girl and I got her. Now it really doesn't matter. I'd be so happy either way. If you're a girl, Ainsley would have a sister to play with. This would be awesome, and I speak from experience. I would also have less shopping to do, because we already have tons of girlie clothes - some still with tags. If you're a boy, I'd have one of each. A nice little balanced family. As much as your daddy loves playing with Ainsley, I know that he'd have a blast with a little boy around. I don't have any boy clothes, but I guess you could wear dresses for a while. You won't know the difference.

I'm feeding you oatmeal right now. Hope you're enjoying it.

Love,
Mommy